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LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Bad dreams have now become almost reality. Live-in
relationships, though in its infancy is yet alarming. An off- shoot of western
culture has been taking roots in India and there is no doubt that it has spread
octopus like tentacles mostly in urban
India. Equating it to a terrorist attack
on the institution of marriage in India may not be out of box theory.
The observation made
by Hon’ble SC, while hearing the famous case of South Indian actress Kushboo in
Mar 2010, that pre-marital sex and live-in-relationship could not be construed
as an offence, has in fact boosted the
fast growing tendency to have a live-in relationship amongst our young
generation. A boy and a girl living together, without any social or legal
sanctions, as flat mates/hostel mates/ PG mates is fast becoming norms with our
western minded, music-fun loving, junk food eaters. With the waning of family
stability, opening of various avenues of employment opportunities to boys and girls
within and abroad, open mindedness, and with rising graph of economic growth,
youth population of urban India has become more adventurous in their
relationships with opposites sexes. Family heads are putting their heads
together to ward off this intruding evil in the lives of their children but
they are unable to restrict the activities of their wards once they become
mature enough to decide their future life.
It is the thinking of orthodox people of India that social
ethics, family honour, moral values are getting devalued with the advent of the
concept of live-in relationship. Can we really call these people orthodox ? Is
our institution of marriage fast
becoming redundant? The question itself
is intriguing .
We already have three types of marriage.
A) Arranged
marriage :- Totally arranged by parents of both sides.
B) Arranged but love marriage :- Couple in love but marriage
arranged with the consent of both
parents.
C) Love marriage
:- Without consents of both parents and getting married in court overtly or
covertly......
These three types of marriages have either social or legal
sanctions which is absent in live-in relationship. It is also observed that the rate of divorces
has also registered an ascending graph in B & C type of marriages though
cases of divorces in type A marriages also show increasing trend but to much
lesser extent. Moreover it becomes hell for a girl particularly if she is
living with a male friend and enjoying sex too outside marriage norms.
Where does the term live-in-relationship fits in our
children’s lives cannot be gauged. Younger people take their parents as old
-fashioned, set-minded and socially irrelevant duds as they fail to fall in
line of their thinking. They feel live-in-relationships will bring down the
cases of divorces & caste bias. It will give them an opportunity to gauge compatibility of each
other if they stay together for a longer period before they come to the
decision of marrying each other. So far
so good as It helps indulging couples to understand each other better over a
longer period of time and think of marrying each other if so desired by both
the partners. There are no liabilities on each other. No demands and pressures.
Household luxuries/responsibilities and financial liabilities are equally shared
on the basis of equality. Compatibility becomes the hall mark of this type of
relationship. Non- compatibility over a time period gives both parties a chance
to change their partner.
Their point of view is understood due to the change in
perception of having a life partner in present scenario and nature of
adjustment with the times by the modern parents. It is also understood that instead of saying ‘ marriages are made
in heaven’ we should now say ‘marriage are through live-in-relationships’ But million dollar question is CAN THEY
REMAIN ALOOF FROM GRATIFYING EACH OTHER SEXUALLY while living in. It is highly
improbable. A big NO. Fire attracts fire and cannot be doused by fire. Resultant
pregnancies are either terminated for fear of attracting social backlash or the
child has to live with the tag of illegitimate in case partnership is not
legalised by marriage. Living-ins may provide a chance to be an independent in
personal likes or dislikes yet girls are made to suffer more than a boy in
India. It is a established that living in relationships not only bring
harassment and insecurity to girls in India but emotional breakdowns also
become frequent ruining the life of a girl involved.
The society also does
not sanction such relationships whatever the law may say. Why is it then honour killings are taking
place openly now? Why suicides are on the rise amongst the young unwed mothers?
Why abandoned fetuses are found every now and then? We still abhor the idea of westernised thinking of the concept of leave one, take one. We need to re-educate our children about pros
and cons of such an adventure, our traditions, our culture, our ethos, our
moral and ethical values, our social obligations, our sanskars which they have lost in the age of TV soaps,
internet, smart-phones, movies, clubs, bars etc.
Or should parents/society allow them to say, “
this is our life, allow us to live as we want.?
Matter will always remain debatable.
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